The saving grace of chai

Maya rarely has a lunchtime nap these days but if she does, boy is she in a bad mood. This afternoon when she woke up she howled and I mean howled inconsolably for close to half an hour. All she wanted was daddy. I tried reading her stories (she chucked the books in the opposite direction), I tried a good old cuddle (she kicked me) and I even tried giving her biscuits for heavens sake but no, she didn't want them. She just wanted daddy. I looked at the time and realised we had at least another two hours before the haloed daddy would appear. Despairingly I scratched my head and muttered to myself that I was going to make a chai. The howling suddenly subsided and she peered up at me through her tear-dampened curls. 'Chai?' she asked. 'Yes, Maya chai.' She jumped up from the sofa. 'Oooh, can I help you?' Amazing. Absolutely amazing.

So, I went and fetched the chai box of magic ingredients and we sat on the floor and put it all into the pot. I can't vouch that this is the authentic Indian chai, but this is the one we drink and it's YUM.

Maya's Magic Recipe for Mood-Enhancing Chai
(Serves 2)

Take about 6 cardamom pods
about 6 cloves
Half an inch of fresh ginger chopped up (or powder will do)
A little bit of cinnamon bark (or powder)
A bog standard tea bag
One cup of milk & one of water
As much sugar as your stomach/teeth can take

Put it all in a pot and bring it to the boil.
Simmer for about 10-15 minutes then turn off the heat and let it sit for a while to let the yummy flavours infuse.

De-lish.

ps - the photo above was not taken this afternoon during the chai episode, it's just Maya a few days ago doing her best woe-is-me forlorn face. I think if I'd tried to take a picture of her this afternoon she would've bit me.

The Mother Uncovered

Since this blog is focussed on Maya, you may well wonder what the devil I do with myself all the time. So I thought I'd write a little blog on me and what I get up to here in Bangalore. As you know, we are hugely, massively, astonishingly privileged to have the wonderful Deepa helping out for three hours in the morning. By the time she's purged the place of ants, I get anywhere from one and a half to two hours to myself and this is time for me to write. During the past years I managed about this much in a whole week to satiate my passion if I was very, very lucky so I still have to pinch myself sometimes as it feels too good to be true. I write anything and everything from articles to haikus, short stories, blogs and, up until going back to England, I was writing my novel (about half way there - watch this space!). Since being back this time round, I've put the novel on hold to devote my precious morning time to my latest idea - a creative writing website for busy women which I'm reeeeeally excited about. It's still early days but it's slowly but surely coming together, so watch that space too!

One morning a week I go to a creche to help out with kids aged 2-6. So often we see families labouring on the roadsides, building houses or carrying heavy loads of cement on their heads. It is heartbreaking to see many of their children also helping with the work, but if they're not, generally they are playing on the side of the road and obviously not getting an education. The place I go to is a convent which also runs this small creche for such children at the cost of 50 rupees a month (about 7o pence) to enable them to be educated and to be in a different environment. I finish my morning covered in chalk, glitter, snot and God knows what else and I don't know about an education but on the whole, the children love being there, playing with others and with us. When I walk into the room, their little hands fly to their foreheads (it's bizarre, it's like a military salute) and they screech Good Morning Auntie! They are wonderful and I'm going to miss them.

Two evenings a week I go to a very unusual yoga class. It's called Bharat Thakur Artistic yoga and whilst I don't kid myself for a second that I look artistic, I definitely get some good exercise. I also have Reiki to help me sleep sweetly. What else? I seek out places that have good cake, feel the leaves of the bushes to keep myself grounded in nature in the middle of this crazy city, drink lots of chai, curse the frenetically noisy dogs that yap through the night, write pages and pages in my diary (yes, as well as all the other writing) and stick in little things that will one day remind me of India, stand at the vegetable stalls and marvel at the colours and textures, buy TimeOut Bangalore just to torture myself with what I'm missing (we can't find a babysitter!), stick Maya's artwork all around the walls and think to myself again and again, how lucky we are to be here. Oh, and I take lots of photos, especially of Indian film posters peeling off walls (like the one above) - people think I am craziness personified.

Downright weird

The other day we went for a walk and I noticed that a crowd of men had gathered and were looking in our general direction. Oooh, I thought, what's the interesting sight? And I looked behind me, only to see absolutely nothing before remembering that actually WE are the interesting sight. In fact, we're not just an interesting sight, we are a downright WEIRD sight. A family of westerners walking along the side of a busy road (I will never get used to the fact there are no pavements in Bangalore), and not only that but the children are being carried on the backs, the bigger child fastened to her daddy's back by something their wives normally wear. Honestly, if a group of three headed green aliens had landed I don't think they'd attract anymore attention than us. It's just as well that I'm quite short-sighted, otherwise I think I'd start getting paranoid.

Surya the Pink Bear

Can you see the pink bear with wings in the middle of the yoga mat between Maya and I. No? Look a little closer...can you see her now? Still not? Well, neither can I. That's because only Maya can see her. She is an imaginary friend who flew into Maya's life about one week ago. She is a friendly pink bear by the name of Surya and she has detachable wings. Which I think is great. I've asked Maya to ask Surya if I can borrow them but the request has been declined.

Surya sleeps alot. Maya is often tiptioeing out of our bedroom and softly closing the door so we don't wake her. But when she's not asleep, here are some of the things that Surya likes:

* Doing yoga with us
* Getting herself clean in the pink bucket
* Doing jigsaws with Maya

And here are some of the things that Surya doesn't like:

* Being disturbed if she's not in the mood for playing
* Loud noises
* Having to eat first course before she gets pudding

Sound familiar?

Bangalore with children

I've just had an article published on a travel website, Transitions Abroad, about living in Bangalore with children. There's some funny photos too. Take a look:

http://www.transitionsabroad.com/listings/living/articles/living-in-bangalore-india-as-an-expat-with-children.shtml

Touch-me-not

In the mornings, Maya comes upstairs to the flat roof with me to hang Lily's nappies up in the sun where they dry really quickly. She likes to hand me the pegs and walk along the piping, looking out over the Bangalore skyline.

This afternoon, I was a bit tired and grumpy, Maya was a bit tired and grumpy and Lily, who had barely left the house all day was getting cabin fever and hence was also grumpy. By about quarter to five we managed to get ourselves out to the park over the road where the girls fought over the scooter and picked leaves and flowers. I know I've mentioned touch-me-nots before, the delicate little leaves that close up when you touch them. The really are a marvel and Maya loves stroking their delicate little spine, watching it shyly close in on itself. In fact, you don't have to even touch it, you just go near and the leaves start quivering and recoiling. Watching Maya stroke leaf after leaf, I mused how she was not so dissimilar: on her own turf and on her own terms, she is a confident, forthright little girl. But if people invade her space or touch her when she is not comfortable with them, she literally closes up; shuts down. The same goes for friends - with one or two others she is fine but more than that and she would rather be on her own.

For the first week back at school, the teachers told us that Maya was quite withdrawn and they're still not having any luck encouraging her to participate in the running. This is all sounding very serious and I don't mean it to. I'm not worried about her as I know Maya and know that yes, she is a little shy, but she is a happy and balanced child. My wonderful primary teacher who I was recently re-united with commented that as a little girl I was 'painfully shy' and it's not as though I have a problem with that now. I got a book from the library the other day (yes, the library that I was perhaps unfairly moaning about) called 'I'm feeling shy', all about situations where children feel shy. Maya actually really likes it and has asked me to read it to her several times. I can virtually see the cogs turning in her head as I read it to her. There's an awful lot going on up there.

Maya's going to be an independent little lady, that's for sure. But it's been amazing to watch her character grow and develop whilst we've been in India as well as hear her vocabulary explode which of course enables her to express herself better.

Muvva Earf

I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it before, but my favourite shop in Bangalore (by far) is called Mother Earth. It is on the side of a wheezing, noisy, stinky highway but the second you walk in, blissful calm descends and you are in a treasure trove of beautiful artisan products made all over India. Since we've been living here, we're often stuck for things to do in the afternoon so we end up doing the same things again and again. Our weekly trip to the children's library followed by a visit to Mother Earth has become quite religious and if I'm being honest, the library has just become an excuse to go to Mother Earth (which is on the way back and is how I spotted it in the first place). We've taken out every decent book from the library anyway and so have now resorted to borrowing Maya's favourite books for a second round. I think I'll stop pretending soon that it's still a worthwhile trip and we'll cut to the chase and head straight for Mother Earth, or 'Muvva Earf' as Maya endearingly calls it.

There's a good reason why Maya has grown fond of the place too. For a start, all the staff there know her name and treat her like an old friend (I'm sometimes a bit embarrassed how often we go there!); then there are all the beautifully vibrant colours everywhere you look and lots of stairs to run up and down. But the real gem for Maya (well, maybe a teeny bit for me too) is the top floor. On the top floor of Mother Earth's three floors is a little cafe with rattan chairs and ginger and apple milkshakes, date and jaggery pie and chocolate and walnut brownies all nestled in amongst batique wall hangings and Indian rugs and yes, we are in heaven. Maya tried her first ever chai here and was immediately hooked. Whilst I sit back and finish my own chai, listening to the fabulous tribal music they always play, Maya and Lily run amok amongst the photo frames and quilts and also various breakable objects which obviously makes me feel quite nervous but all the doting staff keep a friendly eye on them.

Oooh, I'm going to miss Muvva Earf when we leave. But having said that, I don't think I'll need to all that much as my challenge is going to be not buying the whole store out to put in our future farmhouse (he he, dream on!). Any requests, let me know.

Lily in Pictures

Here are a few photos of Lily Catarina, lovelier and feistier than ever. This was taken on holiday at the Karnatakan coast when she'd wander around with my old head scarf wrapped around her and Andy and I jokingly called her the wild child because of her untameable hair.


Lily loved the freedom of the beach. She spent ages padding around in the sand moving shells from one place to another. And then moving them back again.

Because Lily spends time in the mornings with Deepa, she seems to genuinely enjoy sweeping and can often be found with the brush in her hand. Here she is wearing a shirt of Maya's which her big sister refuses to wear (like most other clothes!), so I've turned it into a dress for Lily.



Here's Lily back in England when her hair went a little static after some trampoline bouncing at Uncle Leo's.

Fresh and clean after bath time at Auntie Louisa and Uncle Nick's house and ready for more action. Lily has an endless well of energy, smiles and waves.


Back in Bangalore, she's still too little to object to her Mama dressing her up so I'm making the most of it while it lasts!

This afternoon at the park, a look of surprise as Maya spins her round this creaky old thing.


Lily is adventurous and brave and wants to try everything out, especially if her sister is doing something. Here she is about to have a swing on the rope.

Happy Diwali

Traditional Diwali Rangoli in front of someone's house

Lily and I dressed up for Diwali


Today is Diwali, the festival of lights, which celebrates the symbolic triumph of goodness and light over evil (well, it's a great deal more than that, but that's the abridged version!). On one hand, it feels a little like Christmas here as everything closes up for a few days while people head home, plus there are lovely twinkly lights strung everywhere you look. On the other hand, it feels like an extreme version of bonfire night. I say extreme because, as I write, the bangs, fizzes, hisses, crackles and pops outside are unbelievably noisy and relentless. I'm not kidding, it sounds like World War Three out there. The fireworks and firecrackers started a few days ago, today is the big day (I hope!) and I imagine they won't subside for another few days still. I was literally about to write that it's a miracle the girls are sleeping through it but I thought too soon as Lily has just woken up after a loud fire cracker explosion outside the bedroom window and the poor girl is now a-howlin....five minutes later and she's sound asleep again. Fingers crossed for tonight...

At school, Maya decorated a small oil burner with paint and glitter to bring in the festive season and she's now barely raising an eyebrow at all the noise, she's become so accustomed to it. At the beginning, she thought it was thunder and the poor girl looked terrified but today she announced very proudly, 'I like fire crackers!'. That's more than can be said for her Mama - fireworks are one thing, but in my view, firecrackers that just make a humungous bang and let off lots of smoke, well what's the point?! Or mabye I'm just getting old....Either way, wishing each and every one of our readers a happy DIWALI !!!!

Maya is back in Bangalore!

Andy and I weren’t hugely looking forward to the flight back to India (to be fair, does anybody look forward to a long haul flights with a one and three year old? If there’s anyone out there, please please let me know how and why.) Both Maya and Lily surpassed our expectations though and, unlike last time, got some shut eye. Maya didn’t, however, manage to stay clean. The poor girl had been feeling unwell for several days but it wasn’t until our departure date that she really felt poorly. Once on the plane, we thought it would be wise to keep a sick bag near her. Just in case. Approximately five minutes after take off, Maya croaked ‘Bag! Bag!’ And whilst the ridiculous parents flailed about wildly trying to locate the ‘sensibly positioned’ bag, Maya did all she could to keep it in…but we ran out of time and she vomited everywhere. Now, as we’re such well-prepared, forward-thinking parents, obviously we’d brought along plenty of spare clothes for the journey….yeah right. Under the seat went the sicked-on top and back on went the thick winter hoody she was wearing earlier at the airport, the perfect garment for arrival in hot, sticky India. Lesson learnt: If your kid tells you they’re going to be sick on a plane, they probably mean it. Oh, and it’s a good idea not to lose the sick bag at this moment in time.

Anyway, we’re all back in Bangalore in one piece and I must say that as soon as we’d entered our apartment, Maya seemed genuinely, joyously happy to be here. She ran around in an upbeat craze being re-united with her doll Sophie, her yellow scooter and her pink plastic cup. Ah, the simple pleasures. The first afternoon back, I thought I’d take the girls to the park over the road. For those of you who’ve been following this blog since the beginning, you may remember our first ever experiences in this same park back in March. Either way, here’s a quick re-cap.

This time round, Maya was far more adept at side-stepping the copious amounts of cow-poop festooned all around the walkways but what she was less prepared for was the re-introduction of how much attention she can attract. No sooner were we at ‘the rock’ (the centre piece of the park where all the children congregate) than she was overwhelmed by numerous children swooping on her, demanding to her name and ‘which standard she was studying in’. I also felt a little overwhelmed on her behalf and tried, in the politest way possible, to get them to back off a little. It seems I didn’t need to as Maya, studiously ignoring her question-battering, had marched through the crowd and climbed as quickly as she could to the top of the rock for some peace and solitude. Can’t say I blame her. She really has got so much better at dealing with all this attention, but it’s never going to be easy for an independent little three year old.

On the second day, I thought it was unlikely she’d be awake enough for school but, on the contrary, she couldn’t wait to go. Andy reported that she was fought over by a few of the little girls in the playground and her teacher told me that she participated well in every activity throughout the morning except for the running which she point-blank refused to have a go at. I raised an eyebrow and wondered whether it was worth telling her that Maya’s mother went on strike at every single running event throughout primary school and that she may take after me….whilst deliberating this, her teacher said that they’d be running again tomorrow and she was sure Maya would want to join in. Hmm…maybe. But I fear she hasn’t been introduced to Maya’s truly stubborn side yet!

Anyway, I’m pleased to report that Maya seems very pleased to be back here in India. Tearing through the streets in a rickshaw today she kept gleefully yelling ‘Look at that!’ and pointing to bright flowers or stalls being set up on the roadside for the upcoming Diwali celebrations. We even shared a bewildered chuckle at the stocky lady-men in sarees who flicked their long hair and accosted us at the traffic lights for money.

It’s funny to think that when we first arrived here back in March, I was unsure whether Maya would remember much of her time in India. Now, having watched her develop and grow up SO much in the past months, I know I underestimated this. What her memory chooses to filter or remember only time will tell. And who knows, maybe reading this blog twenty years down the line, a description of something will suddenly ignite a flicker of a memory inside her.

ps - photo above taken of Maya today in her favourite napping spot on the cold, hard floor!

Bangalore beckons

The past two and a half weeks have been a whirlwind of visiting friends and family - in fact, I don't think I've ever seen so many people in such a short space of time before. Maya has loved being re-united with cousins, aunties, uncles, grandparents and old friends as well as meeting a few new babies but let's face it - it was pretty unlikely that this wasn't going to be confusing, not to mention tiring at times. There was, without a shadow of a doubt, a hint of weariness in her voice yesterday when we got into the car for the umpteenth time to reach our next destination. She eyed her parents from the back seat and said 'Where are we going now?' The poor, weary traveller!

Now that we're safely ensconced back at her grandparents house, we can say with all honesty that the next stop is Bangalore. She's been telling lots of people about her friend Aanya and her teacher Paula so I think she'll love being back at her school and being doled out tons of sweeties (grrr...but hey, what kid wouldn't?) She's been eating much better back in England though, so back to beating my head against a brick wall each meal time...and she's also loved being cold! I know I've mentioned this several times before, but our first born is a fair English rose who loves warm jumpers, thick duvets and welly boots. You may well ask what the dickens we're doing dragging her to the steamy climes of India but we realised a long time ago that if our lives were dictated by Maya's wishes then both Andy and I would wear a full pink outfit each and every day and our cupboards would be filled with cupcakes, olives and tins of sweetcorn.

One of the highlights of being back were the not one but TWO violin lessons my sister gave Maya on her own very first violin she started playing herself at the tender age of three. Naturally she showed precocious talent, her auntie declared her a mini virtuoso and she's already booked to play with Nigel Kennedy during his next tour. Ok, the truth? She scraped out a few sweet little scratchy sounds but she had a big old grin on her face and asked for the second lesson herself. She has been raised with her Mama banging about on the piano and both her parents twanging a guitar so I'm sure she'll have some appreciation of music.

We leave in two days time. Back to rude, early morning hocking awakenings (I will never, EVER get used to that), warm days and nights, rickshaws, cows and chickens, the smell of jasmine, rain, spices and drains, Deepa, Aanya and Paula. Maya's been a bit poorly with a cough and cold over the past week so let's hope that the hot air she'll feel at 4am when we exit the airport will blast away the residues of lingering germs. We have love, love, loved being here but we can't wait to go back. Maya has just walked up to my side and asked 'Mummy, what are you doing?' I told her I was writing her blog and asked what she was looking forward to about going back to India. Her reply? The aeroplane. Or 'elloplane' as she calls it. Ah well, it's hardly India. But it's a start!

A couple of wee stories

This is, I know, very annoying but I'm actually not allowed to say where we might be going next yet as it's not confirmed.....sorreeeee!! I'll let you know as soon as I can.

In the meantime, I'm sure this isn't as exciting as reading about Maya's adventures but here are a couple of my stories that have recently been accepted.

Click on the below link then go to Rebecca Stonehill on the right hand side
http://www.mondaynightlit.com/read/8_allen.html

With this one you'll see my name at the bottom
http://tclj.toasted-cheese.com/